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Lists Written by Mothers for Mothers (and others)

8 Hilarious Jennifer Lawrence Quotes


1. To David Letterman when she appeared on his show on November 20, 2013

“I thought I had an ulcer, turns out it was a fulcer. I justhad this really bad pain for like three weeks and you can only shit your pants so many times a day before you have to go to the emergency room.”

2. Also on the David Letterman show November 20, 2013. David Letterman remarks that the last time she was on the show they were having an animated discussion about whether or not the butt in a photo of her was her butt or wasn’t her butt (Jennifer says it wasn’t her butt). On November 20, 2013 Jennifer responds to David by saying,

“Let’s talk about something normal. How about that mayor who smokes crack?”

Of course, she is referring to Toronto’s mayor, Rob Ford.

3. Still on the David Letterman show November 20, 2013 David refers to the moment she tripped going up the stairs to receive her Oscar as one of the reasons people love her. He tells her, “You can be a great actress and still be one of us. A lot of great actresses get to be snotty. You’re not snotty.”

Jennifer Lawrence says,

“They can walk up stairs. I hope I never turn into one of those.”

4. On the red carpet at the 2011 Oscars to ET Jennifer Lawrence refers to a quote by Kate Moss stating that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels by saying,

“I can think of a lot of things that taste better than skinny feels – potatoes, bread, a philly cheesesteak and fries.”

5. In her interview after the Oscars Jennifer Lawrence is asked about her process of getting ready for the big night. She says,

“What was the process of getting ready today? I woke up and tried on the dress and it fit, thank God. And then I took a shower. I don’t know…that’s what I did. And then I got my hair and makeup done and then I came to the Oscars. I’m sorry. I did a shot before…sorry…Jesus!”

6. Also after the Oscars Jennifer Lawrence was asked what her thought process was when she fell down. She says,

“A bad word that I can’t say that starts with f.”

7. Still at the Oscars Jennifer Lawrence is asked if it is a good thing that success has come so early on in her career and she says, “I hope so. Yeah. I mean, who knows. I guess we’ll see”. To which the interviewer now asks if she is worried about peaking too soon. Jennifer says, ” Well now I am. God!”

8. When on Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler wanted to confirm if what she heard was true – that Jennifer Lawrence pees in her pants when she laughs too hard to which she says,

“You pee in your pants when you laugh to hard like our mothers. I pee when I get scared. That’s the biggest difference between you and I. And when I’m nervous like backstage, I just peed every three seconds. I think your staff thinks I have diarrhea.”

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